Biblical Principles for Godly Dating

Biblical Principles for Godly Dating

Dating in today's culture can be frustrating.  The worldly culture encourages casual relationships without deeper purpose or commitment.  However, adhering to Biblical principles concerning dating and relationships can help you navigate the dating scene with purpose and integrity.  Here are several Scriptural guidelines to help you discover Biblical principles for Godly dating.

Seek God First

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided to you. - Matthew 6:33

Matthew 6:33 reminds us to seek God and His righteousness before anything else.  Before you enter into a dating relationship, examine your relationship with God.  Be sure your relationship with Him is solid.  Pray for God to guide you as you look for a dating partner who shares your faith and values.  Seeking God and His righteousness before anything else or anyone else in your life gives you a strong foundation for your dating life and helps you discern whether a potential partner's faith and moral code aligns with yours.

Establish Clear Boundaries

Flee sexual immorality. Every other sin that a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought for a price: therefore glorify God in your body. - 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

It is important to set boundaries in your dating relationship.  1 Corinthians 6:18-20 makes this Biblical principle for Godly dating clear.  Paul tells us to flee sexual immorality.  Establishing physical, emotional, and Spiritual boundaries protects both you and your dating partner, allowing the relationship to grow in a healthy, respectful way.  Talk to your dating partner about your moral boundaries early to make sure both of you live by the same principles and feel valued.

Evaluate Character, Not Appearance

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. - Proverbs 31:30

While physical attraction is a huge part of dating, Proverbs 31:30 reminds us that the outward appearance is only part of a person's attraction.  A person's physical beauty might be what attracts you to him or her, but also focus on evaluating his or her character traits.  You want to know as early as possible whether or not your dating partner's character traits align with Biblical values.  Look for character qualities like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control as outlined in Galatians 5:22-23.  A Godly relationship should be rooted in Godly character, which is far more precious than physical attraction alone.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. - Galatians 5:22-23

Surround Yourself with Community

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. - Proverbs 27:17

Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that we are made for community.  We were not created to endure the trials of this earthly life alone.  This is just as true for seeking a dating partner as all other walks of life.  Getting involved in a community of fellow believers provides a culture of accountability in your dating journey.  Seek the counsel of friends you trust or mentors in your life who can offer you wise advice and encouragement.  Participating in group dates or social church events helps foster relationships in a Christ-centered environment.

Communicate Openly

But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, that is, Christ. - Ephesians 4:15

It is important for dating partners to have good communication skills.  Ephesians 4:15 tells us we are to speak the truth in love.  Honesty is vital to a successful relationship.  Without honesty between dating partners, a Godly relationship cannot survive.  Be honest with each other about your feelings, expectations, and future plans.  Remember to discuss faith-related topics early in the relationship to be sure your beliefs align with Scripture.

Embrace Perseverance

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor, not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. - Romans 12:10-13

Dating relationships do not always go as planned.  When disappointments happen, Romans 12:10-13 reminds us that God has a perfect plan for your life, even when things don't work out the way you hoped they would.  Lean into prayer and stand strong in your faith as you navigate the ups and downs of dating.  Whether you are in a solid relationship or still praying for God to send the right person your way, you can remain faithful to God in all your other relationships by being devoted to one another in brotherly love, giving preference to one another in honor, remaining diligent in your faith and devotion to others, remaining fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope, persevering in your hardest days, devoting yourself to prayer, contributing to the needs of others, and being kind to those around you. 

Godly dating is a journey that honors God, fosters healthy relationships, and builds a strong foundation for your future family. By keeping these Biblical principles in mind, you can pursue a dating life that is not only fulfilling but also aligns with your spiritual values. Remember, the goal of dating should not solely be finding a partner, but cultivating a relationship that glorifies God and mirrors His love for His bride, the church.

If you would like to go deeper into honoring God in your dating relationships, I have a 7 day dating devotional journey for you.  Godly Dating in an UnGodly World is a 7 day devotional journal for teens, but it's good for adults too as the dating principles are the same for both teens and adults.  In this journal, you will ponder and mediate on the truths that not only shape our understanding of love and relationships but also empower us to walk in faith, purity, and the light of God's unfailing love.  Each day begins with a scripture relating to relationships.  Each Scripture verse is followed by a short explanation of the Biblical truth.  Then, you are given three practical steps to apply the Bible verse to your dating life.  Finally, you are given a journaling prompt so that you can record your thoughts, feelings, applications, etc.  

Godly Dating in an UnGodly World is a great tool for getting your dating life started off on the right foot.

The Biblical Principles for Godly Dating 7 Day Devotional Journal for Teens (and Adults) is available here.

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Biblical Principles for Godly Dating

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If you have children, full-time jobs, and countless other things going on - the only date time you get might be at night. In fact, it might be late into the evening. 

While most of the time you are going to want to be bright and sparkly, ready for some deep and meaningful conversation - sometimes it is the time that is spent that is more important. 

So if you are pinched for time and looking for a great way to spend time together, here are some of the easiest and most enjoyable late-night date ideas. 

Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

Late Night Date Ideas

Stroll

If your kids are older and you no longer need a babysitter, then a late-night stroll can be relaxing. If your kids are younger, paying a babysitter for an hour or two is well worth it for the time you spend together.

Living in a safe area or somewhere where there is a beach or a promenade nearby might be just what the doctor ordered. 

Depending on where you are, you might be lucky enough to find a coffee shop and take a warm drink with you. 

Comfort Food

After feeding the kids and closing the laptop or taking work clothing off for the day, there can be nothing as wonderful as decompressing and finding pizza places open late. Ordering something that you both like - or a half and a half for a compromise and sitting with each other and relaxing. 

Is it glamorous? Perhaps not, but it does relieve the pressure of doing something out of the house and finding babysitters. 

Sunrise

Are you both on different schedules - one on nights and one on days? Perhaps the only time that you can find to make sure you really have is those few hours as the sun rises. One thing will always be true, and that is that the sunrise will always be stunning. 

It can be a life-affirming moment that can make everything feel ‘ok’ even if the pressure builds up. 

Perhaps the time you have together is just the mornings on the weekends, in which case a very early morning coffee and sitting in peace can be that late night/early morning date you need. 

Movie Night 

Is there a new movie coming out that your partner would love? Combine the comfort food, and rent or buy the movie on a streaming channel. If you don’t have any streaming services, then take a look at what offers you can find just for one month and then cancel the membership. 

Massage 

There are many ways to be romantic and intimate and recognize when your partner is stressed and needs to relieve tension. We often carry tension in our shoulders. Warming coconut oil or using essential oils can help you to unknot their shoulders. 

We are more likely to share our issues, and that can mean you communicate on a deeper level. 

If you are working on your relationships this year, and not just with your partner, here are some great suggestions: 6 Ways to Show Love This Year. 

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Do you ever question God's will for you life?  Do you wonder what His plan for you might be?  Are you doing what He has called you to do?  Are you questioning that He has a plan for you at all?  Do  you feel hopeless when it comes to knowing God's plan for you?  Friend, we can be hopeful in God's will for us.  God has a plan for our lives.

For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. - Jeremiah 29:11

Image Credit - Yolanda - CCO Public Domain Image - via Pixabay

The following are my notes taken during my pastor's sermon.

Hopeful in God's Will

First, God is the source of our hope. 

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. - Romans 15:13

Our focal scripture passage is Genesis, chapter 24.  At this time, Abraham is about 104 years old.  Issac is about 40 years old and is unmarried.  YET, God promised a plan.

This is a beautiful story about how God provided a wife for Isaac, but the principles learned throughout the story can be applied to any other situation when you doubt God's plan for our life. 

It was he to whom it was said, "In Isaac your descendants shall be called. - Hebrews 11:18

Regarding Genesis 24, we find in verses 1-4 that Abraham did not want a wife for Isaac who would turn his heart away from God.

Now Abraham was old, advanced in age; and the Lord had blessed Abraham in every way.  Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge of all that he owned, “Please place your hand under my thigh, and I will make you swear by the Lord, the God of Heaven and the God of earth, that you shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I live, but you will go to my country and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son Isaac.” - Genesis 24:1-4

In verses 5-9, God instructed them not to leave the land He had given them.  If Isaac chose to leave the land, it would cause the people to believe that God would not keep His promise.

God's will - His plan - is perfect.  We have to trust him.

Yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform. - Romans 4:20-21

 In verses 10-11, Abraham's servant traveled 500 miles on a camel train.  A camel train consisted of about 10 camels.  They traveled for approximately 20 days, maybe more.

Then the servant took ten camels from the camels of his master, and set out with a variety of good things of his master’s in his hand; and he arose and went to Mesopotamia, to the city of Nahor.  He made the camels kneel down outside the city by the well of water at evening time, the time when women go out to draw water. - Genesis 24:10-11

 Now, here is a very important part.  Upon arrival into the city, Abraham's servant prayed.

He said, “O Lord, the God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today, and show lovingkindness to my master Abraham. Behold, I am standing by the spring, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water; now may it be that the girl to whom I say, ‘Please let down your jar so that I may drink,’ and who answers, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels also’— may she be the one whom You have appointed for Your servant Isaac; and by this I will know that You have shown lovingkindness to my master.” - Genesis 24:12-14