Loving Difficult People: Learning to Love Like Jesus

Loving Difficult People: Learning to Love Like Jesus

Let’s be honest — loving difficult people isn’t easy. Whether it’s a classmate who constantly stirs up drama, a friend who betrays your trust, or a family member who seems impossible to please, loving them feels like a challenge we’d rather avoid. Yet as followers of Christ, we are called to something higher. Jesus didn’t just love those who were kind to Him — He loved those who mocked Him, betrayed Him, and even nailed Him to a cross.

The truth is, loving difficult people reveals how deeply we understand God’s love for us. It’s in those hard moments of frustration and hurt that we learn what it really means to love as Jesus loves.

Love When It’s Hard

“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.”
— Luke 6:27–28 (NASB)

When someone mistreats us, our natural response is to defend ourselves or fight back. But Jesus challenges us to respond differently — with love. Loving someone who has hurt us doesn’t mean pretending the pain isn’t real. It means choosing to forgive, letting go of bitterness, and allowing God to heal our hearts.

Loving difficult people doesn’t excuse their actions; it frees us from carrying the burden of anger and resentment. Every time we choose love over retaliation, we are reflecting the heart of Jesus.

 Seeing Through Compassion

“Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
— Ephesians 4:32 (NASB)

It’s often said that “hurt people hurt people.” Many who lash out at others are carrying hidden pain of their own. When we look beyond someone’s behavior and begin to see their brokenness, it becomes easier to respond with compassion instead of condemnation.

Ask God to help you see others the way He sees them — not as enemies, but as people in need of grace. Compassion doesn’t justify wrongdoing, but it helps you respond with gentleness and understanding instead of anger.

Setting Boundaries in Love

“Do not make friends with a person given to anger, or go with a hot-tempered person, or you will learn his ways and find a snare for yourself.”
— Proverbs 22:24–25 (NASB)

Loving difficult people doesn’t mean allowing them to mistreat you. God calls us to love others wisely. Setting healthy boundaries is one way we protect our peace and honor the Lord. Sometimes, loving someone means loving them from a distance — praying for them, forgiving them, but not allowing them to continually cause harm.

Boundaries are not barriers to love; they are fences that protect your heart so it can keep loving without growing bitter or weary.

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Praying for Those Who Hurt You

“But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
— Matthew 5:44 (NASB)

Prayer changes everything — especially your heart. When you begin praying for someone who has hurt you, your focus shifts from the offense to the One who can heal. It’s nearly impossible to hate someone you consistently lift up in prayer. As you pray, God softens your heart and teaches you to love beyond your own strength.

Becoming More Like Jesus

“Never repay evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all people. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people.”
— Romans 12:17–18 (NASB)

Every time you choose love when it’s hard, you become more like Jesus. His love is patient, kind, and unconditional — even toward those who don't deserve it. When you love difficult people, you are living out the Gospel in real time. You’re showing the world what it means to follow Christ not just in words, but in action.

Loving difficult people is one of the greatest tests of faith. It stretches you, humbles you, and strengthens your relationship with God. Remember, Jesus loves you even when you’re difficult too — and His love never fails.

Reflect and Apply

• Who in your life is hard to love right now?

• Have you asked God to help you see them through His eyes?

• What boundaries might you need to set to love them wisely and peacefully?

Pray for that person today. Ask God to give you a heart that loves as He loves — full of compassion, grace, and forgiveness.

Want to Go Deeper?

If you or your teen are struggling to love someone who’s hard to love, I have for you a 7-Day Devotional for Teens: Loving Difficult People to help you grow in grace, forgiveness, and Christlike love.  Each day includes a Bible verse, insight, and journaling space for reflection.

👉 You can find it here!

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Loving Difficult People: Learning to Love Like Jesus